punk'd

attn

went out with mummy and daddy after church today
went to jurong point and i saw all my city harvester friends there.
haha. it's like normal hang out area lahh..
went into esprit and i saw that pretty tube!! haha. mummy gave me THAT look. haha.
but i still don't feel comfortable wearing one around lahh..
walked around and for once. i did ZERO shopping!! aren't you proud of me?
i think my dress sense today was gross.. haha. bad day.
i almost bought a new bible to start my walk with Jesus all over again.
then i remembered that i have a 20 bucks gift voucher from city harvest attributes bookstore as my last year birthday pressie!!
and it's not expired yet!! think i'll go over one day to get myself a bible (:

im supposed to be the only one in my class doing the 3rd draft for my EoM
but everytime i think of how biased she is.. and how she just can't be bothered to try and help us.
i get angry and i just can't do my work.
my mummy's not being very understanding about this and everything's my fault.
i guess it is.

SHOPPING!!

it's been quite long since i last updated (:
but all's fine.

first thing first.

thank you chah!! love you lots. i love that message on your blog. brought loads of warmth from my heart. thanks for being around although your so far away from me. i miss you. after the darn promos. we'll go out ya?

loads of things have happened. many things i have learnt.

i talked to him again and what i was afraid off came to pass.
but it's alright. i've got Jesus in me and i'm rather strong now.
i'm rather confused myself.

i screwed up my econs test recently.
i just had too many things in my mind at one shot.
one of them was that i was telling myself that i had to score for this test because i don't have another test to fall back on like everyone did.
i won't be surprised if miss kat gave me a zero for this.
i got all the curves and graphs mixed up. monopoly and pc mixed up.
i did have a good cry about it considering that i studied so hard for it.
i am so angry with myself that i decided in order to save me in the long time..
i have to rest. my mind needs to.
so i didn't touch my books for thursday and friday and today.

went back for geog lecture today.
i needed to go to the toilet so i went.. didn't bring my phone or anything
and somehow the lecture theatre could only be opened from the inside.
so i was stuck outside for 20mins. haha.
i went to all the doors and i can hear mr osman's voice talking about levees.
i was like "MR OSMAN!! HELP ME!!!"
no one came. so i asked the netballers for helped and they almost banged the whole door down. heh.
i went shopping today and spent exactly $50 today.
shucks. broke broke broke!!
ade&sherilyn&i went to delifrance for lunchie.
then we went shopping!!
ade bought a brown tube was esprit that i totally adore as well.
but i wasn't going to spend $40 on a tube that i probably won't dare to wear out of the house.
haha. BUT IT LOOKED GOOD ok? at least i thought so. heh.
ade had to leave. i got a brown top. 3 pieces of cloth.
oh and we went to take neoprints again!! what's new!! haha.





yupyup. sorta relaxed now. i'm going to study tomorrow.

to those that i promised i won't touch my books for 4 days.
sorrie. 3 days can lahh.. i feel guilty enough (: haha.

im happy i went shopping..

bunkie&ching >> next time we'll go shopping too. MUST OK?

rojak!!

i only had less than 2 hours of sleep last night and im dead beat.
i dunno what's keeping me awake every night.
and i woke up at 4am in the early morning. so i started reading up on my econs.
mugger. i know. but i can't sleep might as well use time wisely.
i brought my bible to school today 'cos i figured that i need healing and God's peace more than before.
i dunno why but i just sat there and i read and read and read and listening to hillsong's music.
i realised that everything i was reading and listening was speaking directly to me.

i was reading about loving our neighbours as ourselves.
that even being angry at someone is considered murder.
and everything just kept coming back to me..

the songs were speaking about how our HeavenlyDaddy's always there for us.

you are forever in my life
you see me through the seasons
covered me with your hands
and lead me in your righteousness
and i look to you
and i wait on you
i'll sing to you Lord a hymn of love
for your faithfulness to me
i'm carried in everlasting arms
you'll never let me go
through it all.

i'm really fine. i really felt the peace of God coming down on me.
i feel rather calm now.. God is love. and He taught me to love with my heart and not my mind.
He taught me to forgive and forget.
i'm rather happy now. haha.
suddenly, like all my cityharvester friends messaged me the other day telling me that they're constantly praying for me and hoping that im going on strong.
so touching.

i've had a good good cry and it's time that i'd stop right now.
i realised that i gotta look at things from a more optimistic point of view.
yupyup. so i'm alright now.
ching was really cute and funny today. you should've been there (:

i want to thank ching for the nice skinny shoulder that i can cry on today.
thanks bunkie for your flat tummy for me to lean on and that piece of tissue.
thank nancy chai for wasting one sms on me to check up on me.
thank you ade for lending me your pink ipod to let me listen to great music.
thanks to my future wife (latifah) for running after me today. haha. i've never seen her run so much.

i dun even noe wad i'm blogging about. everything's everywhere!!
haha. yupyup. i shall go have an early night since i didn't get enough sleep last night.

i just wanna live.

curiousity killed the cat.

i couldnt' take it. i was born like that.
curious like a little kid.
well.. a picture paints a thousand words.

thanks:
yokie. ching. rach. chah. tim. ade.

i'll live. i need to. my mummy and daddy depends on me to get good grades after how much they put in for me.
i promised God that if i made it back into pjc i'll not let my parents down.
i promised dennis that i'll study hard and treat studies like a marathon not a 100m sprint. that i'll study hard no matter what happens to me.
i promised rach i'll not let these affect me anymore.
i promised yokie that i'll study hard and pass my promos no matter how shitty i feel.
i promised ching that i'll tell myself to be strong and hide my tears no matter what.
i promised bunkie that i'll be strong and study real hard.

i made so many promises on the academic aspect of my life and i didn't even know it..
well.. i'll make sure i keep my promises alright? for being there for me through all these, it's the least i can do for all of you.
i also promised someone that i'd wait and be there no matter what.
though it hurts so darn badly now.. i'll hold to my word.

i've never broken a promise intentionally before.
this year, however bad the year may be, is not going to be the first that i'll break my promise.

i just wanna live
don't really care about the things that they say
dont' really care about what happens to me
i just wanna live.

i want to go shopping!!
but i don't have the money!!!!!
anyone remember create talents? haha.

i have got to be so bored.

i never ever imagined my life to be so boring with so many people in my house that i start doing these kinda stupid things. haha. but why not? life is fun. like i was telling ade today.. life is like a nice cool can of 100plus. haha. really am very cranky these days. probably the pmsing is getting to me now. i'm gonna start crapping right now to bear with me. at this current moment.. i have like all my distant relatives here in my house and as usual, they're playing mahjong and eating popiah!! i miss eating pohpiah! i love pohpiah! i think i wanna grow up and learn how to make pohpiah!! haha. yupyup. i want to watch movies. i wanna watch the maid. anybody wanna watch with me? haha. it's like suddenly, no one watches movies anymore. can life get any worse? haii.. with the rise in movie prices.. 05A07, shall be head down to clementi one of these days? haha. let's go sentosa again? haha.

going down memory lane...

this was the life..

ignorance is bliss

haha. THANKS RACH!! (:
i'd rather not go look and hurt myself.
from now on, i told myself, i'll never ever go blog hopping and no more friendster hopping for me.
ignorance is bliss.

i feel like running into the house of God.
just sitting there letting His peace come over me like a rushing river.
i'm kinda angry today.
whatever happened to good sportsmanship?
it's not about winning or losing anymore. it's about the principle behind it and how one should be impartial as a teacher overlooking everything.

yesterday had choir and we finally finished learning the entire carols.
haha. it's longer than 30mins!! (:
and i endured it. went to macs with bunkie, ching, yoke, lucy, caiyin and some others.
they met their touch rug senior. sat around and talked about everything.
tim told me about how i should really learn to be more relaxed.
and maybe i should. haha. GET OUT OF THE MG SHELTERED LIFE SARAH!!
i'm growing. yupyup. everything's getting a lot better.
went home and found myself locked outside the house. heh.
damn funny lahh.. looked so stupid. i was inside the gate but not in the house.
so near yet so far.
i fell asleep outside for a while. haha. did my chinese compo. a little of it.
mummy came to my rescue at around 12ish to 1ish.
haha. showered and then finally got into bed. damn shagged.

today had netball inter-house games. (: (: (:
i so miss netball
it was fun. we lost to ching&bunkie's group lahh.
haha. they were darn good. thank goodness we didn't get trashed that badly.
haha. we didn't get zero against them!!
yupyup. it was a great day.
but someone was being superbly annoying.
and i am so not going to write it here 'cos apparently, we don't have privacy.
our school checks up on our blogs!!
i'm so irritated. poor ade. get well soon!!
and she has absolutely no sportmanship.
everyone was very very angry. no only darwin but like every other house.
yeah.. so yup..
went to lot one with bunkie&ching and bunkie had the craving for sakae sushi so we went there..
wasn't hungry so i didn't eat much.
something's seriously wrong with me..
everytime i get too hungry or too full.. i tend to feel queasy
and i'll just puke out everything. i dunno wad's wrong with me.
it's about time i see a doctor. i'm gonna take a nap now 'cos im just too sleepy.
imagine i fell asleep on the bus from lot one to home. *faints*

i want need a break

so many things are running through my head at this moment.
the misunderstandings.. how AC=AR how P=MC. how the water balance works. how to draw the x³ curve.. how the birth rate in singapore has dropped so rapidly.. how to do chinese essays. *screams*
with my lao shi hounding me for work.
and my eyes, my throat, my heart, my mind aren't helping much.
my moulting arm doesn't do much help either.
i just wanna run away from all these.. run away.
i was telling ade that i wanna graduate asap..
runaway from this place for a little while.
maybe bring a tent and stay on sentosa island all alone for a couple of days.
i need a break. i've got too many things to deal with at this moment.
it's like i'm being bombarded with everything from everywhere.
i think i'm gonna flunk my math end of this year if i really dun buck up.
i should spend less time on my econs. honestly.
like ching said.. i spend most of my time on econs.
little with my geog and math. but i love geog. so i got the passion for it (:
econs test was tough today. latifah was quite funny during the test.
ade and i were concentrating when we heard "it's so difficult!!!"
so loud. scary woman. yup.
had choir today. everyone's voices were different.
it's like we havent' sung in ages. which is the case.
i spoke with ching at the grandstand just now..
then walked out with yoke and ching. talked a lot.
and ching walked me home (: thanks girl.

misunderstandings.

many things happened today and i talked to different people.
i suddenly feel that i should keep my feelings for him to myself.
maybe it's just not me to show that i care when i really do care for someone.
sometimes i dunno whether i wanna to laugh or want to cry.
laugh at how stupid i can be sometimes. cry at the fact that i'm invisible.
i was just reading through all my old messages the other day..
and so many promises were made. so many dreams were built.
(: they're good memories for now.
but they still hurt sometimes for i miss those times..
and somethings that were said that we never came about to fulfill.
i just want to know how he feels for me or whether he still feels anything.
but i've learnt my lesson more than once.

the conflict seems to be getting better and we need to talk soon.
we'll clear the air so that both of us that study alright?
no matter how uncomfortable i feel walking around school now, i think i'm just gonna live my life the way i should. the way i wanted to before anything happened.
thank you Father for teaching me to forgive others.
i really thank God for ching and bunkie!! i dunno what i'd do without them.
we talk, we study, we comfort each other, we have fun, we share our sadness, share our joys and spend most of my time around them (:
all the pretty pretty advice that hits the spot yet doesn't sound harsh.

mixed feelings

i'm got a lot of mixed feelings today.
i'm happy!! i'm sad. i'm angry. i'm disappointed.
haha. i'm happy cos of certain reasons that if i do write.. i'd get killed (:
i'm angry 'cos i heard a lot from neutral people.
and everything's happening just so quickly that i've finally learnt not to trust people that easily.
countless have been backstabbed of late.
i'm disappointed 'cos i thought she was a really sweet girl who would make a really good friend.
now.. i dunno what am i to do.
i'm sad cos i wonder how much i mean to him. does he even think of me?
i should be stronger than before. it's been exactly one month since it was over.
i don't know what's making me hold on so tightly.. this is something i've never done before.
i've never loved to deeply before.

did up all my notes for econs until monopolistic competition.
quite proud of myself.
didn't sleep last night cos i was so scared.
and i dunno how im gonna live without feeling this way.
i mean.. it's not everyday that someone knows my every move.
how can i make this stop?
how can i chase him away?

goodbye granduncle!!

i spent most of my time yesterday and today at my aunt's house.
yesterday was the last day for my granduncle's wake.
today's the funeral/cremation day.
though i am not really close to that side of the family.. i felt really sad.
and this time.. we really got closer. we started talking about everything.
playing mahjong (lee family's tradition) and doing my econs notes.
i did up my monoploy notes yesterday and randy kept making fun of me.. idiot.
haha. but considering the fact that he's my cousin's boyfriend, i shall be nice.
and after doing up those notes for like 3 hours.. i finally finished it..
and all he could say was "i feel so happy for you" *smirk*
idiot. yes i know. haha. but i was like one of the youngest there lahh..
noel is 24. randy is 24. gillian is 22. but there's laura who's 17 too (:
YAY!! yup. so it was relatively a good time of bonding and all.

today was the cremation and the atmosphere was rather dark.
but everything was alright because everyone knew that my granduncle was in a place so much better than this world and the best thing is that he's with the Lord now.
so we had the last talk rubbish session and then i left.

i cleared up my personal debt today. haha. $2.
so i haven't done any work this weekend apart from econs.
and i dunno how im gonna hand up my work tomorrow.
i just haven't been at home. i guess for me.. family comes first.
yup. i found out a disgusting fact yesterday.. and i'd like to say im angry.
but i dunno how im feeling. how i'm gonna have to smile at her in school.
maybe i won't. i dont' wanna be a hypocrite and making them think that they can walk all over me.
so yes. i'm leading my life pretending that the rumours never started.
i thought she was my friend.. think again.

untitled

i just opened my playlist and i realised that i have a superbly wide range of music there!!
who asked me to grow up in a musically inclined family? haii... imagine i have a range from josh groban to gorillaz.

sarah's top 10 songs in her playlist:
10_janet jackson : together again
09_ five for fighting : love song
08_ james blunt : you're beautiful
07_daniel powter : bad day
06_3 doors down : let me go
05_ jay sean : eyes on you
04_lifehouse : you and me
03_blaque : i'm good
02_rihanna : pon da replay
01_oliver james : greatest story ever told

HAHA. yes im pretty slow in my music taste so it seems.. but it's not that i've heard this only recently, i just can't get sick of them la.. haha. they're good songs!! i like so many of them that it took me so long just to arrange these.. haha. and even now they may not be accurate.

ON THE DAY AFTER NATIONAL DAY i woke up really early to start packing my stupid bag.. and after spending so much time packing, i realised that i forgot to bring sunscreen only when i've reached harbourfront. bleaghh. ade, eugene and i took 188 from choa chu kang and started picking up people on the way.. had roti prata for breakfast (: YAY!! haha. took the bus down to sentosa and ade and i spent ages just to find a toilet. how inconvenient that place can be!! grrr.. haha. no way i was going to play a volleyball in skirt anyway. i finally found the toilet and changed to my shorts!! it was so much cooler lahh.. started the game of volleyball and the ball is a lot harder than the ones in school so naturally i couldn't hit it over the net. and i realised im not really a team player in volley. haha. i can hit it if we play one-on-one but not when everyone plays it!! haha. still volleyball is not my game. HEH. sat around to slack and listen to ade's ipod (: i almost cried listening to "the greatest story ever told" by oliver james. and then i went to kayak but ade couldn't 'cos of problems!! haha. so i had to partnet helmi. not bad!! could row quite fast ya? haha. yupyup. that was more or less the day with the really hot sun shining on my skin. and NOW.. i have the ugliest tan mark you can ever see!! eeee.. haha. the tan mark of a racer back top. beat that. but i don't care.. since a racer back top is like the most revealing type of tank top i have at home.. haha. call me weird or conservative.. but yeahh. haha. i went back home to do my gp and find my gp notes. haha. then i konked out and went to bed.

went to school the next day.. everyone was terribly beat. haha. yup. had lessons as usual with an awfully red and disgusting looking face. haha. so yes. i had to survive the day and i couldn't carry my school bag. i did my gp portfolio until 8.45pm and took a bus back with ching (: talked a lot. hah. yeah.. walked back carrying my school bag by hand. found more worksheets to file up and went to bed.

next day.. went to school.. aching all over. wasn't so red. but still red. sky said i looked like some japanese anime character from afar :( you think? haha. yupyup. i got loads of names now.. hopefully i'll stay this colour so that i don't have to go through the same painful process just so that i can not look so pale and mixed blood. as least now i look chinese.. haha. went for choir and sang all the lovely carols!! (: and afterwhich i had to leave early 'cos i needed to go attend a wake. went around school looking for my bunkie to tell her not to wait for me.. bunkie cares for me!! she offered to accompany me in case someone decides to walk me home.. but since i was leaving early.. it was pretty safe 'cos he only knows wad time choir ends.. phew.. i'm happy today!! think you'd all call me weird but at least he bothered to talk to me and ask about wad i was doing. went home took a cold shower and had my dinner.. made my way down all the way to simei. had a service there for a while. i learnt a lot of things today. i talked to noel (my cousin) who is a teacher now about teaching as a career. talked to randy (noel's boyfriend) about doing a masters in geog and from gillian how to play mahjong. i played one game and i won that game (: went home really shacked and beat. plomped onto my bed and into slumberland.

your face was the last image in my mind.

reflections. my to do list!!

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!! (:
happy national day people!! (:

why is it so that the ones that you don't love you are the ones that always want you back?
& the one that you love so much doesn't want you back just yet?

rachel told me that the world was never fair.
BUT in a way, i believe it's fair (:
it's fair because we know that everyone has at least one person who loves them in this world.
it's a good thing right?
but when it comes to true love, if it happens, it happens.

i was reading the free gift from the national day celebration yesterday.
and i found out that the name sarah, is very common for malays.
then i asked my mummy how come?
and i got a new piece of info to keep in my head (: [correct me if im wrong]
because malays study the time of Moses and sarah lived in the times of Moses as well.
so that's why the name sarah is too, found in their bible.

AND i got a message from the 2005 love mg team!!
haha. looks like they didn't forget me.. (: (:
so what if im a graduate and im no longer in the ac-mg circle..
the point is that THEY REMEMBER ME!! wheee..
it's on the 19th of august.. *fingers crossed* i sure hope i dun have choir that dayyy..
i wanna go back!! and go disturb all my teachers and juniors!! :D
heh. yup. hope for all the best!!

mummy signed my progress report and just as i expected. MY GP!! grrr..

haha. so for today. these are my things to do list!!
+ find my gp notes and put them in the black ring file
+ complete annotations of ageing population and environment notes for gp portfolio.
+ complete my notes on perfect competition and monoply (econs)
+ complete my math file for submission.
+ revise my past econs chapters

that's about it. im not a machine. that's about all i can do in one short day.
since i kinda woke up at 10 plus!! it's a first since JAE started. heh.
my bio clock did wake me up.. but i went back to sleep.
YAY!! i managed to compile most of my gp notes and punch holes in them and put them in the file first.
i'll arrange them another day. and man... the file is how thick lahh.

[update.]
to an irritant >> i don't even noe your real name anymore. i know that you read every word here 'cos you seem to know more than i think you know about me.. so yes. a few things i'd like to say to you. firstly, i DO NOT belong to you. secondly, i DO NOT like you neither do i want to be with you ever again. thirdly, please DO NOT treat me as if i was your girlfriend 'cos it disgust me.. i've already told you that you have no chance and that i'll never ever go back to that sad life when i was with you. i've also told you that my heart belongs to someone else so.. LEAVE ME ALONE!! i should be ignoring you but i really have to say all these things. it irritates me!! i can't study with my handphone buzzing every few seconds. i hope you get the picture and stay out of my life and i will NOT appreciate it if you wait outside my school for me.. i'd rather be alone.

(now i understand why he gets irritated when i message too much. sorry)

dieting plan? haha.

there goes my dieting plan!! :(
today we had national day celebration in school..
but it's super unhyped up and the atmosphere was pretty dry.
and the old man dancing was really cute. he wasn't a perfect dancer but he put in a lot a lot of effort and i applaud him for that.
the choir screwed up but we had fun.
had econs rememdial after that and i scored so freaking low for my timed assignment.
my goshh. i really needa buck up on my perfect competition and monopoly.
maybe 'cos i haven't finished studying when i sat for the paper? i sure hope so.
we got our progress report today. mummy's gonna have to sign it.
and im gonna get nagged at again for my gp grades.
the last time she said this "i sent you to a english speaking school for 10 years, you did well for your Os and you failed in jc?"
haha. mummy mummy, they're different. i wish it were the same. but it's different.
hello green form!! :(
stupid stupid stupid!!
went out for lunchie at long john's.
went home to get my swimming stuff.
trooped down to ade's house.
started playing around. went swimming.
and i realised my stamina sucks!! haha. so much for keeping fit!
then went up and i watched most of house of wax alone cos ade was in the toilet at all the gross parts.
oh wells.. im a brave girl. i'd like to thank the inventor of pillows.
at loads of kinder surprise chocolates at ade's house cos she insisted i help her eat the chocolate and she gets the toys. kids these days.
i felt the accumulation of a thick layer of lipids growing with each bite.
so much for dieting.
and there.. i took a bus home. and i fell asleep on the bus.
and ended up in choa chu kang. thank God i took 67 and not 171 (ends at yishun)
and not that i wanna be racist 'cos im not.
i'm afraid of middle-aged indian men. but i still love latifah!! (: she's female.
but im not afraid of bimbo!! heh. just MIDDLE-AGED ones.
so yes. i didn't meet any OTHERS today as well. that's really good.
so yupyup. i'm dead tired. i'm gonna study the whole to tomorrow
so hopefully i can go play volleyball and get my (hopefully) golden brown tan on wednesday.
(: (: (:
go volley!!

[update.]
my granduncle just passed away to be with the Lord.
may God give comfort and peace to all his loved ones.

to deal with the rest of my days

* all thanks to the influence of ade and latifah, i've learnt to appreciate r&b and hip hop too.
so you can say love all genres of music except techno. i like the rest. (:

i finally bought my red shirt today from orchard!!
haha. it's been ages since i last stepped into orchard.
it was a new feeling all over again. (:
i went for the first choir practice with my churchie today!!
haha. and my my.. im the youngest!!
all the middle aged people.. very very cute and amusing buncha people (:

went to penny's house yesterday.
and winston drove!! haha. felt like i was in a roller coaster or something.
then there was teck meng and morgan talking all sorts of rubbish.
and emmeline thought i was kong lum until i started talking.
hahaha. great catching up with all the folks no doubt i felt very out of place there.
everyone had the ac thing going around and i.. well just lost it.
haha. but i don't regret going to pjc one bit!!
it's different all over again lahh..
maybe i was kinda sick of the sheltered life and then again.. last night, i felt so much more sheltered in pjc.
i talked to winston last night about stuff..
and something didn't feel quite right.
usually, in other cases, when people talk to me about all these..
i'd feel confused.
but for ONCE in my life, i didn't have that confused feeling at all..
my mind seemed to be made up and i see my own path before me.
i didnt even hestitate one bit. i just said "i'll wait for him"
people tell me im making a big mistake BUT then again.
wha'ts life without hurts and pain? just go with the flow.

we can only truly love once, and being loved by the one you love, is a bonus.

I'VE MADE UP MY MIND AND NO ONE'S GONNA CHANGE IT!! (:
im gonna be a good good daughter, good student, good christian, choir girl, very patient friend.
im gonna study real hard, grow with the Lord, sing my hearts out and well.. hopefully get promoted and wait for him to finish his a levels!!
yup.. that's how im gonna live my life right this moment!!
and im prepared to get my green form on monday for not handing up my math file.
i just don't have enough time on my hands to re do all my tutorials.
i've done them only on rough paper.
mr wong wants them nicely filed up and all that crap.
and whatever happened to a blue form? im just gonna get a green form.
to think we're supposed to be independent learners?

i love my bunkie and ching!!

thank you ching&bunkie for being my listening ears through all these
and for giving golden advice (: i love love love you both!! *huggs*

was talking to ching and bunkie about all my affairs of the heart
and bunkie told me something that i would remember to get me through my days (:
though it's really saddening that there's this big fat emotional barrier between us.
but bunkie's words will pull me through and encourage me. thanks girl.
YAY!! my life reminds me of this lit book that i read in sec one!!
haha. anyone remembers goodnight mr tom?
the storyline goes about the life of a little boy and how he coped with the end of a friendship and how he continued to grow with the help of mr tom. remember?
my case? slightly different. the love i have hasn't died but i continue to grow with the help of my friends (:
and i definitely remember the last line of the entire book..
"dad, i'm growing"
i loved that book a lot. it was one of my favourite books along with all the shakespearean stuff that i did for lit.
i miss literature. bahh..
but im doing alright now with my subject combi.
but i do hate math a lot. it's killing me and it's really bringing my morale down.

right now.. im sorta stressed up with the pressure im facing with my work and all..
my results aren't fantastic but thank God i pulled through.
i need gp help!! anyone wants to help me? please?
i have my aims for my promos up and hanging on my wall now..
and YES. im going to work hard for it even though it's not that reachable.
since im not the brightest bulb so i have to work doubly hard.
econs - B
geog - B
math - C
gp - C5
chinese - B4
yupyup. my pretty goals. haha. doubt i'll reach it though.
BUT I GOTTA BELIEVE!! if i don't believe in myself, who would believe in me?

yeahh.. im done with my blogblog now!! going to buy red t-shirt for monday!! help!!

[update.]
i did go out to buy my red shirt. but i ended up buying anything BUT the red shirt.
i saw one from esprit that looked relatively alright even though it was red but they only had XS!!
i mean i can fit into it.. but i don't like clothes THAT tight. so i didn't get it.
heh. i went to zara and bought a pants and a shirt.
the shirt had this very very lame thing written on it "shall we take a walk, deer?"
then there's a picture of some hikers and a deer. haha. it's quite cute lahh. i like the colour!!
i bought penny her birthday present since her birthday is tomorrow (:
i like her present and i wanna keep it for myself!! but because she's my dear sweet aunty who pampers me like i was her daughter or something.. i'll give it to her.
haha. and yeahh.. i bought underwear too!! surprise surprise. haha.
I FEEL SO RETARDED!! yupyup. i owe tim one piece sushi 'cos he saved my dear life.
i had the worst experience just now when i was coming home from school.
i really didn't know what to do lahh.. phew. im safe (:
going to penny's house later for her birthday. haha.
i'll be the poorest person there. everyone else is from ACS international.
all the rich people. but i'll live it. i'm poor and humble! YAY!!

report.

why is it so that your happy with everyone but me?
i miss that smile of yours

i guess im getting paranoid all over again.
must be the stress from work and the pressure given from every aspect in my life.
yet i keep telling myself one thing.. hold on.
it hurts knowing that you walk around school and seeing the one you love constantly with girls around him.
you wonder, why can't you be one of them?
people tell you, "maybe he's doing it to spite you"
well, love is blind. and i don't see it that way.
i know he isn't someone like that and i hope he hasn't changed one bit.
as much as it hurts, i tell myself, i am not to cry.
i gotta be strong (:
love is patient.

and i think im getting weirder by the way..
i suddenly don't feel comfortable when certain people call me sarah.
sucks. it's my own name and i can't respond to it. HAHA.
i have weirdest of names. big bird. flappy. control tower. radar. etc.
all the rubbish lahh.. it's no wonder i sorta forget my own name.
oh wells..

had pe today!! played captain's ball. (: with a volleyball. next with a rugby ball :(
took theory test today too (: (: (: 30/40!!
not bad considering that i dunno what a volleypass is.. 'cos most of the things that were taught about volleyball were taught when i was in sydney!! not bad!! (:

the stress and crap is getting to me..
41 days to j2's prelim. 59 days to j1 promos.
as i know about 3 more months of waiting in uncertainty.
and IM FALLING ILL!!
i dunno why im so excited about it.. maybe 'cos i just wanna take a break from everything and take a good rest?
and one thing.. i tend to look healthier the worse i feel.
haha. i just went to the toilet to blow my nose and i realised that it's been a long time since i've seen my face so pink. but it sucks 'cos my lips are paler.
and pw and all the crappy tests are not helping at all..
i wanna go to school tomorrow but thing is.. at this rate. i might now. sad.
tomorrow's helmi's birthday!! (: haha.

sarah low
ex-mgs-pjc
nus fass
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turning 16
mgs gala night 2003
mgs founders 2004
happy make up day
mgs grad night 2004
pjc 1st 3 months
pjc choir
05A02 bbq
05A07 arts outing
05A07 class bbq
everything from everywhere
16th australian international music fest
mgs 118th founder's day
a day with chah
05A07 bbq & tummy's farewell
wee&rah
choir chalet day 1 at sentosa
05A02's second bbq
a day with milene
turning 18
snow city with wee
rach's birthday
pjc prom
05A07 chalet
bali
shanghai
zoo with ade&wee&ryan
genting+cameron pt1
genting+cameron pt2